No matter at what stage of life you are, the most common question we ask ourselves is, ‘Why My Life Is So Hard Sometimes?’ Do you?
Why My Life Is So Hard, Unfair And Boring?
God why life is so hard?
Why my life is so hard to live?
Why my life is so hard as a teenager?
Why my life is so hard compared to others?
Why life is so unfair?
Why is life so boring and pointless?
Why my life is so complicated?
Does everyone have a hard life like me?
Why my life is so difficult?
Tired of asking such questions to yourself all the time?
You may be a child, teenager. young adolescent, adult, or an elderly; such questions hit our minds at some point in our lives. Or are probably your constant companion all the way through, that why my life is so hard, unfair, complicated, difficult or boring too at times. But why?
People look so happy in their pictures on Instagram and Facebook, so how can their lives be so hard?
Working with children and young adolescents used to be a refreshing experience for me as their electrifying positivity would make me forget my worries.
But, not anymore!
Because even they are also pondering upon the same question – Why my life is so hard? It is so heart-breaking to hear what they are going through.
Adults are living a zombie-life. Work, eat, sleep and repeat – a daily routine.
Not by choice, though. But why do they have to do this?
Why is their life so hard?
And elderlies, not immune to this question. What is going wrong in this world?
Well, before you read any further, recall the times when you pondered upon this question.
Imagine yourself thinking of the question again Why my life is so hard?
What were you going through at that moment? Did you get to discuss this with anyone or had to pass through that all by yourself?
Sorry to make you do this, but this is the part of the contemplation you are going to do now.
Here are a few reasons that are making your life hard enough.
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Reason #1Why My Life Is So Hard – Sharing May No Longer Be Caring!
There were times, when people would enjoy the small achievements or simple joys of life – not by clicking pictures for Instagram, but by being actually happy for you. By BEING WITH YOU.
You may understand where I am going forward with this.
The whole idea of sharing your happiness is now – sharing your happy pictures on social media. You really don’t know how happy people are for you. We try to judge the significance of our life events by the number of likes and comments on our posts.
How many people do you actually call or speak to, to share your true feelings when you are encircled by thoughts like why me life is so hard and unfair?
How many actually check on you if you share a sad post?
Turn to people who are really there – your parents, siblings, grand-parents, friends – and TALK TO THEM. You may post the pictures later.
Sharing your happiness with real people will only give you (or even magnify your) happiness.
Reason #2 Why My Life Is So Hard – The Judgements
We are living in a world where it took less than 3 months for Covid 19 to be declared a pandemic. Then, people’s opinion would surely take a fraction of a second to reach you.
You are judged for everything –
How are you dressing your kids..
How much you score on your board exams…
Your pictures on Instagram…
Your thoughts you may have shared on Facebook…
How you like spending your time..
Actually, for every single thing. No, no exaggeration over here!
We are living a ‘SOCIALLY CAUTIOUS’ life where we are constantly monitored or anxious about being judged. We are finding faults in our own selves. There is a hint of dissatisfaction and caution in everything we do, say or think.
Why will you not get tired then?
Why can this not take your satisfaction from life away and stops you from being happy with your life?
It can!! And, it does!
So, please stop identifying yourself from the lenses of others.
Reason #3 Why My Life Is So Hard – The Expectations
Who do you know who is not expected to do something or be someone?
Let’s talk about our own expectations.
I expect to earn enough to be able to travel the world.
I wish to own branded clothes.
How about showing my expensive car to my friends!
I wish to live a lavish life.
Don’t get me wrong but, satisfaction is the real essence. There is a difference between living your dreams and letting them ruin your sense of contentment with what you already have.
There is no limit to dreaming about such things.
Dreaming big is good, but it should not let you fall into the trap of expecting more than you actually deserve. Because when you do so, you lose your sense of satisfaction and contentment.
And eventually, make you feel why my life is so hard and unfair to me?
Reason #4 Why My Life Is So Hard – Eye For The Negatives, Rather Than The Positives
Human mind needs effort and practice for focusing on the positives; whereas the negatives come naturally to it.
Our minds will normally ignore what’s actually there in the surroundings, but will easily think of what all that’s not there. This is a natural human tendency to focus on the negatives.
It is doing the same with your life experiences – focusing more on the negatives and shadowing the positives. It makes our mind delve into the feeling of scarcity, even if you have something in your life for which people only dream about.
Worth watching out for!
Reason #5 Why My Life Is So Hard – Too Busy To Be Happy
Not just adults, children and teenagers are no less busy.
After a hectic day at school, they attend various coaching classes. Burdened with the expectations to do more, do better, they are exhausted by the end of the day, making them irritated by nature.
Lack of variety in adult’s lives, make them prone to monotony and thus boredom, and thus complain about their lives, why life is so boring or monotonous.
Take out sometime, take a pause and appreciate the happy moments.
Reason #6 Why My Life Is So Hard – ADVERTISED DISCONTENT
You may own the best phone in the market, but as soon as the new model is launched, you are suddenly unhappy with the one you have.
You may ride a Mercedes, but if your neighbor purchases a different, more vibrant model, you are no longer satisfied with your luxury car.
You may have the best collection of branded clothes, but……….. And this never ends.
Fake happiness is advertised by product companies in a big way, causing significant dissatisfaction in one’s life.
No matter how much or how little you may have, it’s your ATTITUDE towards it that matters.
Discontentment poses so many threats to your mental wellbeing, your relationships and your psychological health.
Don’t let it ruin your happy life.
Reason #7 Why My Life Is So Hard – Not Prioritizing Happiness
I have been hoping to meet a friend for almost 8 months. But when I stop and think about it, I feel ridiculous. Is our life actually so busy that it’s really so hard to find time for happiness?
Meet family more often,
meet friends more often,
go on dates with your partner more than you want to,
take walks at night no matter how tired you are,
keep that damn phone aside and play with your child or talk with your partner,
invite people over for dinner.
Is there a way out?
Well, once again, there is not magical solution. But simple things have magical effects.
It’s really about what you chose to feel!
If you’ll choose happiness, happiness will choose you!
It takes courage to make the right decisions, but once done, there is no looking back.
So, the next time when you wonder, why life is so hard, unfair, complicated, difficult or boring, whatever, STOP, ASK yourself, what am I doing wrong? What can I do differently to make myself feel better?
You have all the answers. You just need to LISTEN. And of course, take action.
Let your heart speak and let your mind listen.
Deeksha Saini is a trained Counselling Psychologist and has been practicing counselling for over 5 years. Her rich educational background, with dual specializations – Psychology and Social Work with Children and Families, has provided her immense experiences in the field. She has extensive experience of working with children and young adolescents.